Ghosting...The New Dating Experience

Ghosting is a topic that has become more and more relevant in the past few years.  When something gets difficult or when there is no longer any interest, the ghoster disappears without any explanation.  The act of ghosting can be very disheartening with the person questioning what happened and why the other person (ghoster) made the decision.  There is no closure! The ghoster is gone!

To avoid confrontation, the ghoster takes the easy route, not wanting to deal with the reaction of the other person.  A person that they may or may not have had much contact with. What does this say about the ghoster? No respect? No empathy?  Maybe they aren’t mature enough or fear confrontation?

Unfortunately, I have also been victim to this, but just in the past two months.  The way I look at it is I probably avoided a huge heartbreak, which makes the whole predicament that much better.  

The first experience was with a man that I met online.  It was quick! We spoke all day and the conversation was going super well.  We had a lot in common and the conversation was fun. Then… I asked him if he had Facebook.  Guess what the reaction was? You got it! I didn’t hear from him again. I even thought, maybe he doesn’t like Facebook, so the next day I asked him if he was enjoying the snow.  Still nothing! This situation didn’t impact me too much. I took it for what it was and then, let it go. It was sad, because I liked him, but only liked him for a day.

The next ghosting experience got to me a bit more than I would like to admit.  I also met him online, and I thought he was cute, but not that cute. I wasn’t sure what I was going to get.  I met up with him, thinking that I probably wouldn’t be attracted to him, and I was completely shocked. He was super cute!  And he seemed to be really nice. We met for an hour and a half and even hugged at the end. I was expecting to hear from him once I got home, because I thought the date went well, but I didn’t hear from him.  The next day, still didn’t hear from him. Then I looked on the application and he had unmatched me. That was incredibly sad! I did not see that coming! After I noticed the unmatching, I began thinking of all the reasons why he felt it didn’t go well.  The part that really dug the knife deeper was that I felt the date went well and that there would be a second date. I was in shock for most of the date because I never thought I would like him, but when processing the date, I realized there could have been a few areas that he felt we didn’t click in and I feel like that could have been explained better on a second date.  So, I was in shock on the date, as well as once I realized he didn’t feel the same way. It is what it is, but I would have liked the opportunity to get to know him better. I also believe it would have been respectful for him to say something, anything!

If you have been ghosted, I can feel your pain.  But just remember, you gotta move on because it was probably the best thing that could have happened to you.  You don’t want to be with someone like that, and you don’t want to get serious with someone like that. I sure don’t anyways!