Lessons Learned

💕There are so many life lessons that can be learned by being on your own at times.  I have to admit that it’s nice to be single, and at the same time, it’s nice being in a relationship, but that is only true when the relationship is with an individual that is positive, fun, and respectful.  A person that is able to communicate in an effective manner. Relationships are not fun when dealing with an individual that is manipulative, controlling, and unfaithful. This happens often when dating because you come into contact with so many people.  You meet good and bad people. I do feel that most single people focus primarily on the bad experiences, because it’s so easy to do. It is more challenging to push yourself to learn from each experience and really figure out what you are looking for in a relationship.

💕What do you learn by being on your own?

💕You learn what you are passionate about, but only if you put yourself out there and try new things, or it may even be that you know what you are passionate about, and then you find a group of people that share that interest.  By doing this, you become happier. You tend to feel better about yourself and your life in general. It really takes courage to do it, because sometimes you may not want to. But what it comes down to is do you decide to stay home waiting for your life to just develop or do you go out and make it happen?  The answer may be different day to day, but if the goal and passion is strong enough, you stick with it, until you get to where you want to be.

💕You learn to set very firm boundaries with people.  Do I want to talk about my singleness all of the time?  No! And, does it make me happy to discuss it? Not so much!  I understand that the individuals in my life are genuinely inquisitive, and at the same time, it makes me sad because that may be one of the only times I actually think about being single.  So, if I am not focused on it when I am alone, why is it a big deal for others? Because they feel it’s a big deal! This isn’t really about you, this may be more that they feel uncomfortable with how your life is playing out.  They really do care, and they want the best for you, but it doesn’t need to be discussed during every encounter.

Why talk about a topic that brings you down?  Why not focus instead on topics that really make you feel excited?  Focus more on your passion, instead of a topic that makes you feel unworthy.  

💕Who’s job is it to make you happy?  YOURS!!!

No one else can make you happy!  And the same goes for everyone else, meaning you have no control over whether someone else feels happy.  Happiness truly is a mindset! What do you mean? Well, many individuals put their focus on the next step in their life making them happy.  Once I find my soulmate, I will be happy!  Then they find their soulmate and they are happy for a short bit, but then that wears off and they are back at it.  Once I have children, THEN I will be happy!   The individual has children, but then the short-lived happiness wears off and then it’s on to the next step, hoping for happiness.  Well, does happiness ever happen if this cycle continues? I don’t think so. Happiness starts with you and your thoughts. If you are always focused on the next best thing, then you will always be craving the next best thing.  Instead….What are the best things in your life RIGHT NOW?

💕And, that question is super powerful!  Because by answering it, you are focusing on what you are grateful for, instead of what you are lacking.  So, GO AHEAD, TRY IT! I dare you!

💕Stop comparing your situation to everyone else’s because that will only make you feel worse.  By comparing your life to that person that you feel has it all together, do you think that will empower you?  Or would it make you feel defeated? I mean, it’s normal to feel all of your emotions, but you control your own emotions with your thoughts.  By comparing, you are focusing more on what you don’t have or the characteristics that you lack, instead of focusing on all of those great characteristics you already possess.  Another nice thought is that you know that feeling when you look at that person that seems to have it all together and there’s so much admiration. Well remember, someone has looked at you that way before too.

💕Become aware of your surroundings.  This is super important especially if you are a single woman.  It’s safe to know what is going on around you, at all times. Make sure you practice this because it could save your life.  Maybe even carry pepper spray! I’m not saying this to scare you, but I am sharing that people need to be cautious and that situations that we never considered, do happen.

💕There are so many lessons to learn by being by yourself.  I’m sure I will think of more as this goes on and I will share them at that point, but for now, I’m good with the ones that have been included thus far.

💕As always, keep it positive, and I will post more soon, so stick around!